Floral Spuzzem

A charming piece of early design that captures Legends at its most playful: a green artifact-hater built around a combat trigger, where an unblocked attack converts into artifact destruction at the cost of the damage step. The conditional "if you do" clause is where the whole thing turns. The price of pulling the trigger is forfeiting the two damage the body would have dealt, which makes the ability a choice rather than a freebie. That self-punishing structure is exactly why the card reads as quaint now: modern artifact removal does not ask you to trade a hit for a kill. Green's color-pie identity around artifact destruction was being sketched in real time during this era, and the Spuzzem is one of the early experiments in tying that effect to creature combat rather than to a dedicated spell like Crumble. The optional "may" and the damage condition reflect a template philosophy Wizards has largely retired: long-prose triggers that punish you for using them, where a cleaner modern design would either make the destruction mandatory or detach it from combat damage entirely. The Spuzzem is a fossil of that older approach, and a useful one to point at when explaining how green's relationship to artifacts was codified before the color pie was ever written down.