Festive Funeral

Removal whose ceiling you build rather than buy: at five mana it does nothing early and everything late, its effect scaled entirely to how many cards sit in your graveyard when it resolves. Nothing gets exiled or consumed; the yard is a counter the spell reads, not a resource it spends, and that distinction is what makes self-mill and cheap cantrips relevant here. A full graveyard is not a synergy afterthought but the difference between a dead card and a blowout. The -X/-X shape does real work too. It slides under indestructible, and when the count is thin it can still shrink a blocker enough to win a combat you would otherwise lose, without demanding a clean kill you cannot yet fund. Instant speed keeps the number honest in both directions: you get to read the graveyard at the moment it matters (after a fetch, after your draw step, in response to a pump spell) rather than locking it in on your own turn. It belongs to the black tradition of removal that grows with a game already in progress, closer in spirit to the payoffs that treat a stocked graveyard as an asset than to a point-and-shoot kill spell priced against a fixed toughness.