Emrakul's Evangel

The body is the bait, not the payload. A 3/2 for three with no evasion and no immediate impact reads like a beater, but the activated ability is the entire reason it exists: tap, sacrifice it alongside any number of your other non-Eldrazi creatures, and turn the whole board into 3/2 colorless Eldrazi Horrors one for one. The transformation is the design hook. You are not gaining bodies; you are converting them, laundering a mismatched assortment of creatures into a uniform army of token Horrors. That conversion does real work in two directions at once: it dodges sacrifice-matters and creature-type-matters answers by reshaping everything into colorless Eldrazi, and it functions as a sacrifice outlet that empties the board in a single activation rather than picking off one creature at a time. The flavor and the mechanics line up cleanly: a cult evangel offering its congregation up to the titan, and what comes back wearing the Eldrazi's shape is no longer recognizably what went in. The cost it pays for that ceremony is the tap symbol and the self-sacrifice clause, which mean the trick fires exactly once and announces itself a turn early by sitting on the board doing nothing. Because it is an activated ability, it answers targeted removal at instant speed: respond to a spot-removal spell by sacrificing the threatened creature into a fresh Horror before the spell can resolve, trading a marked target for a body the answer no longer fits.