Embalmed Ascendant

Aristocrats decks have always wanted a payoff that drains on every death without demanding a dedicated sacrifice outlet, and this two-color Zombie hands one over: at max speed, any creature dying anywhere on your side becomes a drain that costs an opponent a life and gains you one. It even arrives with company, so a single cast leaves two bodies staring across the board. The catch is the gate in front of the engine. Speed advances at most once per turn, and only on a turn where you have chipped an opponent's life total, so the drain fires only once you have already reached the top of the track. That builds a chicken-and-egg problem into the payoff: the stalled, gummed-up board where a death-drain would be most valuable is exactly the spot where nothing is progressing your speed, so the card is quietest in the situation it most wants to shine. Push through early aggression and reach max speed anyway, though, and the pieces lock together into a grind that taxes both sides of combat: the entry token, the incidental lifegain, and the drain reinforce one another so every trade that loses you a creature tips the totals a little further your way. The design reward is not the individual trigger but the plane it puts you on once combat itself becomes attrition in your favor.