Drana's Emissary

Drain welded to an evasive body, with the bleed running on autopilot. Each of your upkeeps clips a life off every opponent and hands one back to you, at no mana, no activation, no card spent; the effect simply ticks every one of your turns the body survives, and the flying 2/2 frame means it tends to survive while chipping in from the air. The design logic is the patience tax: a single trigger barely registers, but it compounds against everyone in the game, so the drain per turn grows with the number of opponents while the lifegain accrues to you alone. That makes it a creature whose output scales with the size of the table rather than the size of the board, the inverse of how most aggressive bodies are priced. It belongs to the long line of incremental life-drain engines that punish durdling without demanding any work in return, the kind of static bleed that wins games nobody remembers losing to. The catch is that the engine is bolted to a fragile chassis: remove the creature and the entire clock stops, so every point of drain is borrowed against a 2/2's life expectancy. That fragility is precisely what keeps a no-cost recurring drain honest.