Defender of the Queue

Positioning is a spatial keyword, a mechanic that treats your board as a literal left-to-right line and locks it there the moment this Centaur enters. The rules text turns physical arrangement into a game state that matters, a gag that only works if the ability underneath does something, and here it does. Whatever sits directly beside this 3/3 gets +1/+1 and vigilance, so the entire design becomes adjacency management: which two creatures earn the buff, and how you slot each newcomer to keep them there. Most anthem effects are indifferent to where creatures stand; this one makes placement a resource, and every creature that enters or comes under your control forces a left-or-right decision that rewards planning your board like a seating chart. The parody framing (the queue, the defender guarding it) does cultural work rather than competitive work, but the axis it introduces is genuinely novel: reading a battlefield not as an unordered set but as a sequence with neighbors. It is a design that could only exist in a context free to experiment with what a keyword is even allowed to reference, and it commits fully to the bit while leaving a real, if narrow, decision tree underneath.