Cranial Ram

Equipment that scales with your artifact count is old news; strapping that scaling onto a body it manufactures itself is where this one gets interesting. Living weapon means the +X/+1 buff never sits idle waiting for a creature to hold it, because the Germ token is the creature: the moment it enters, you have an attacker whose power reads directly off your board of artifacts. And because Cranial Ram is itself an artifact, X is never zero: the equipped Germ is a 1/1 at absolute minimum, growing as you deploy more artifacts and shrinking back toward that floor when they leave. The bonus is a static equip effect rather than a counter, so it recalculates live: swinging high on a full board, settling low after a wipe or a sacrifice chain, but never leaving the token dead where it stands so long as the equipment remains attached. The rakdos color pairing points it squarely at aristocrats and treasure-fueled builds already flooding the board with cheap artifacts, where the Germ doubles as sacrifice fodder that happens to hit hard first. Equip lets the buff jump to a survivor after the token dies, so the equipment outlives its own body: the Germ is a starter engine, not the whole plan.