Covetous Elegy

A symmetrical board wipe that lets everyone keep two, which sounds fair until you notice the second clause pays only you. The sacrifice half is Balance-style parity: each player prunes their own board down to a pair of creatures they'd rather live, so the wide, go-tall aggressor loses more bodies than you do while both of you walk away with something. Then the symmetry cracks. You mint a tapped Treasure for every creature your opponents still control after the culling, meaning up to two per opponent, converting their surviving threats into your next turn's mana. That solves the perennial catch with mass removal in multiplayer politics: a plain wrath punishes the caster as much as anyone and leaves them tapped-out and behind. Here the wipe funds its own recovery. The tapped clause on the Treasures is the restriction that keeps it honest as a value engine rather than an outright combo enabler: you don't get to sacrifice-and-reload on the same turn, so the payoff is deferred to the following turn's development rather than an immediate mana burst. It reads as a group-hug card and functions as a control-into-value pivot, letting a grindy Orzhov deck reset a threatening board, keep its two best pieces, and emerge with more resources than it spent.