Copperhoof Vorrac
Most variable creatures scale off something you build: lands you control, creatures you flood out, cards in hand. This one measures the wrong side of the table, taking its size from every untapped permanent your opponents control. The body is a live readout of their board state at the moment it connects, which hands the math to the defender as much as to the attacker. Against a tapped-out opponent it is a vanilla 2/2 for five; against an opponent who keeps a full grip and an open board, mana up for interaction, it swells, then deflates the instant they spend that mana on a spell or activated ability. That is the clever inversion: the held-back, instant-speed playstyle most creatures simply ignore is exactly what feeds this one, and developing a wide untapped board feeds it too. The catch lives in combat. The boar is largest in the window after attackers are declared, when blockers are still up but nothing has been cast in response. The defender's natural reply (a removal spell, a pump, a counter, anything that taps a land or activates an ability) shrinks it precisely when it would otherwise matter, and the body that loomed enormous a moment ago can be trading down by the time damage resolves. A creature whose threat peaks before the response and erodes through it is a strange kind of closer: the puzzle of when to swing, and whether the opponent will flinch, is most of the game with it.
