Contraband Livestock

White's premium exile removal has always priced permanence with restitution: Swords to Plowshares gives the opponent life, Path to Exile hands them a land, both compensation for a creature that will never return. This turns that giveback into a d20 gag, and it inverts the mechanic's usual reward curve on purpose. Across the die's other faces, a natural 20 is the jackpot; here it is the only outcome you actually want, dropping your opponent a harmless 0/1 Goat. Every result beneath it favors them. The widest band (10 through 19, a full half of the die) hands back a 2/2 Boar, and a low roll of 1 through 9 replaces the creature you just exiled with a 4/4 Ox, a body meaningfully larger than most of what you would be answering. The odds run hard against a clean trade. The exile clause still does honest work underneath the joke: instant-speed, it dodges death triggers, sidesteps graveyard recursion, and beats indestructible and regeneration the same way any exile answer does. But the replacement token skews toward something the opponent is glad to keep, which reframes the card entirely. This is not efficient removal in a costume; it is a novelty die that happens to exile, tuned so the flavor of a livestock heist gone wrong stays front and center. The strategic axis is the roll, and the roll rarely pays out the way the number 20 does everywhere else.