Canal Courier

The monarch mechanic was built for multiplayer politics, and this body answers a problem every crown-holder faces: the moment you take the throne, three opponents suddenly have a reason to swing at you, and a 3/5 can only block one attacker a turn. The second ability turns that liability into offense, but it works entirely off your own declare-attackers step. If you send this creature at one player and another creature you control at a different player, this one becomes unblockable for the combat: it slides through to deal its damage and refill your hand under the crown. The condition rewards committing to a multi-pronged assault rather than turtling, so the price of evasion is that you must spread your own attackers thin and accept the return swings that come with it. The 3/5 frame is doing the quieter work underneath, large enough to anchor the crown against small attackers and random pings while the evasion clause gives you a way to push the monarch damage through when you do decide to attack. It is a deliberately social card, but the trigger is on your side of the table: you choose to fork your attack, and the unblockable rider follows. The crown is the prize and the target at once, and a sturdy body with its own way to keep drawing cards is one of the cleaner answers to holding it.