Bonded Fetch

The tension here is between two keywords that almost never share a body: haste, which exists to attack the turn a creature lands, and defender, which forbids attacking entirely. The joke is real, but the design isn't a joke. Haste is doing different work than its usual job. On a creature whose only meaningful action is tapping for an effect, haste means the activated ability comes online the moment the Homunculus enters, with no summoning-sickness delay. So this is a looter you can cast and immediately use, a 0/2 wall that filters a card the same turn it arrives and every turn after. Defender pays for that immediacy by making the body a fixture rather than a threat: it blocks, it sits, it draws-and-discards, and it never has to commit to combat. Looting on a stick was rare territory for a long time, with Merfolk Looter the canonical reference point, and that card is summoning-sick the turn it lands. Reading haste as "the activation is available now" rather than "this can attack now" is the whole elegant trick, and it rewards looking at what an ability does mechanically instead of what it usually means flavorfully.