Awaken the Erstwhile
The symmetry is the trap, and the trick is realizing it isn't symmetrical for you at all. Each player empties their own hand and builds their own board from the wreckage, one 2/2 Zombie per card discarded, so the spell doesn't move cards across the table the way Mind Rot or Hymn to Tourach does: it converts everyone's grip into bodies they keep. That makes the count on each side the whole calculation. Cast it when your hand is fat and theirs is empty and you walk away with an army while they get nothing; cast it into a mirror where both of you are hoarding and you've armed the opponent card-for-card while spending five mana to do it. This is discard as construction rather than disruption, a black sorcery that treats the graveyard-feeding cost most cards apologize for as the entire payoff. The rate is deliberately flat: these Zombies aren't evasive or resilient, so the reward is quantity and tempo, not quality, and the tokens only matter if you brought something to make them matter (a sacrifice outlet, an anthem, a way to swing the count wider than a raw body-for-body trade). Discard nothing and you make nothing, which is the design's honest tension: the spell rewards a full hand at the exact moment most black decks have spent theirs, and punishes the standoff where both players are sitting on cards they don't want to convert.
