Altar of the Goyf

The joke lives in the type line: an artifact that Wizards decided to make a Lhurgoyf, so that a card built around counting card types in graveyards would itself join the tribe whose whole identity is counting card types in graveyards. That recursion is more than a gag. The static half hands trample to your Lhurgoyf creatures, which matters precisely because Lhurgoyfs tend to grow enormous and dumb, and a giant beater without evasion just chumps forever. The attack-alone clause borrows the same math directly: the graveyard-typecount that fuels a Tarmogoyf's power now pumps whichever single creature swings in, and it does not care whether that creature is a Goyf at all. That split is the design's real cleverness. Any lone attacker, a one-drop included, suddenly wears the full graveyard on its back, growing by every card type buried across all graveyards; only your actual Lhurgoyfs collect the trample, so the non-Goyf beaters need their own way through. The "attacks alone" restriction is the price: no wide swarm, no team pump, just one solitary threat carrying the whole yard. Read as an engine it wants a stocked graveyard and a single haymaker; read as top-down flavor it is the rare card whose mechanical hook and creature type are the same idea, printed twice.