Academy Raider

Looting on a stick is an old idea; the wrinkle here is bolting it to evasion that actually lets the engine fire. Intimidate solves the part that usually kills a looter attached to a creature, which is getting through: against any board that is neither red nor stocked with artifact creatures, the body slips past blockers untouched. The filtering trigger keys off combat damage to a player rather than on attack, so the creature has to survive into the damage step before it pays, and on a one-toughness frame that is a real and recurring tax. That timing is what keeps the rate from being free: the discard-then-draw only recurs as long as you keep an easily-killed attacker alive. The discard-then-draw template also reads as fuel rather than loss in any shell that wants cards in the yard, since the pitched card is feeding a later payoff instead of vanishing. What makes the design tick is the doubling of jobs on a single fragile frame: it is a clock and a self-sculpting filter at once, sculpting toward your best threats while still chipping in damage. The body never threatens to win on its own, but it does not have to; its work is connecting, and the evasion does the heavy lifting that justifies running it over a sturdier looter chump-blocked into irrelevance.